Friday, September 16, 2016

2020: Welcome to Dystopian America: Like Us, But Only Worse

      It's 2020, and even the most jejune commentators are bored to death of the constant belaboring of the utter irony of 20/20 vision in the American dystopia of 2020. The very idea that anybody in the government, ensnared as it is in a gridlock so crippling that it can best be described as more akin to rigor mortis, has vision is ludicrous on the face of it. Polls show that amazingly Congress is even more unpopular than ever, scoring far below tech help, used car and insurance salesmen, and even below vegans.
      A small but dedicated cadre of the most-conservative of Republican House members, who because of gerrymandering have safe districts as long as they act like bombthrowers instead of reasonable legislators, have managed to stall almost every bill since January of 2019, even shutting down the federal government multiple times, using the always reliable debt ceiling as a cudgel.
      Adding to the general chaos has been Democratic representatives staging sit-ins whenever there is a mass shooting, which has averaged about once a month of late. And, if that's not enough, Black Lives Matter demonstrators have staged raucous protests and shut down major thoroughfares in Washington, D.C. out of frustration with the continuing inaction of the federal government. Throw the Democratic governors of California, New York, and a handful of other states threatening to declare their entire states Sanctuary States unless comprehensive immigration reform is immediately implemented into the mix, and you get the general idea that the Obama-era dysfunction is now on steroids.
      And all because of a computer program called Maptitude. After the 2010 elections, Republican operatives were able to use it to draw districts that resembled Rorschach blots that with computerized precision were able to combine different African-American  communities for a Democratic district, and then with the African-Americans safely ensconced in one Democratic-safe district draw several districts that would be Republicans-insured districts for years to come, regardless of the outcome of presidential elections.
      Before the midterms, Democrats were able to work with a handful of Republicans in order to pass a modest raise in the federal minimum wage, a substantial but inadequate infrastructure bill, and some tinkering at the edges of what was once called Obamacare. In 2018, almost all those Republicans who committed the deadly sin of cooperating with Democrats were soundly defeated by opponents so conservative they'd make Ronald Reagan look like the head of Politburo.
      In 2020, President Hillary Clinton has her hands full. Like her husband, she has been impeached by the House, and now, faces trial in the Senate. After her electoral college landslide victory in 2016, Republicans knew not to despair. They bided their time, until the midterm elections, when the electorate favors them by being whiter and older than the general population. And it paid off because of America's unique mid-term elections when a small percentage of voters can essentially overturn what the larger, more representative electorate in a presidential election year voted for.
      So the umpteenth rumor of the death of the Republican Party proved to be wrong yet again. In 2018, the House increased its Republican majority, while the Senate reverted back to Republican control. Facing a do-nothing Congress in the midst of out-right revolt, President Clinton decided to do the only thing she could – issue executive orders on a variety of issues, including immigration and the environment. Taking none of that lying down, Republicans played their trump card, so to speak, and got a special prosecutor with an open-ended mandate. After months of testimony, Republican researchers announced they found the smoking gun, what they believed to be perjured testimony given by the President, ironically not on Benghazi or emails, but on some inconsequential documents that one of the many congressional committees investigating her had subpoenaed.
      Besides impeachment, the Republican-led House hasn't done much, except busy itself with largely symbolic votes to overturn completely or partially what was once called Obamacare, but is now derisively labeled Hillarycare. The running tally now is 75 votes against and counting.
      Of course, 2020 is also an election year, and what a race it's been. Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, former TV-star Scott Baio, and Willie Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame lead another “yuge” pack of Republican presidential (and Fox News) hopefuls.
      Amazingly after their last electoral drubbing, the Republican field has even outdone the Trump of 2016 in their xenophobic, anti-immigrant rants. They promise not only to build a wall but to send troops to the border to stop disease-infested, gang-banging, criminal Mexican and Central American immigrants or, depending on the day or audience, to stop ISIS-inspired terrorists who are, they claim, sneaking in the US by the truckload.
      And yet, multiple polls have shown that the American electorate has moved even further to the left, fewer and fewer identifying as conservative or Republican. Hefty majorities now favor a single-payer system of national health insurance and giving the undocumented a path to citizenship. And, it's widely agreed that President Clinton, if she survives her impeachment trial, will be reelected easily.
      If she does, the Republican drought in winning the popular vote for the presidency will then stretch to twice in 32 years, a truly horrendous record, almost unparalleled in American history. But with the inspired scheming of the Republicans, each Democratic victory has proven diaphanous, almost-Pyrrhic-like. They can win the presidency, but can't do anything once they're elected.
      The net effect is that we have a center-right government of a center-left country with your average citizen left with no way to effectively change government policies – all because of a well-financed and well-organized political minority interested more in fundraising and doing the bidding of the billionaire class than in governance. In 2020, I promise you, you won't need 20/20 vision to see the system is utterly broken.

Friday, September 9, 2016

True Confessions: My Boring, Boring, Boring Life Exposed!

You know your life might be getting just a little too boring when . . .
  • You look forward to the automated calls from your library telling you that the item you ordered has just come in, and you even engage in conversation with the computer-generated voice. What's really weird is when it turns out to be one of best conversations you've had lately.
  • One day you suddenly realize you haven't spoken face-to-face with a real human being, except for your daughter and sales clerks, for weeks.
  • The highlight of your social life is going to the downtown library every other week, especially if you get the good circulation clerk, not the frowny, unfriendly one.
  • You actually look forward with eager anticipation walking around downtown, while alternatively dodging and getting tangled up with the annoyingly clueless throng of Pokemon Go! players.
  • You know the schedule of your local NPR affiliate so well that you can tell what time of day it is by what's playing on your radio, and sometimes you even know what day of the week it is by what program is on.
  • You are so bored you waste hours engaging in what passes for political “debate” these days with a couple of knuckle-dragging, Trump-loving, crude-to-the-max, name-calling conservatives on an on-line comment section, even though you know from the beginning that it will change nobody's mind.
  • You get excited making the grocery list for your weekly trip to Target, a store you've been to literally hundreds of times before. And for added excitement you decide to go in the morning rather than making your usual afternoon trip. Then for a really wild time, you throw caution to the wind and go an alternative route. Life in the fast lane, watch out!
  • Even though you're not normally that great at crossword puzzles, you become obsessed one Sunday with the New York Times Sunday crossword and finish it completely. And you still have time to clean the house and make your usual Sunday phone calls to your siblings and dad.
  • You realize with utter mortification that you could describe in explicit detail, leaving out nothing, all the dates you've been on since you became a widower in front of your daughter, any child of any age, mixed company, even the Pope, without censoring anything. And if that's not depressing enough . . .
  • It then dawns on you with deep and utter embarrassment that your social life isn't rated triple-X, a single-X, R, not even PG-13, but G for general audiences, or, more appropriately, E for Extremely Boring.